| It really did happen this way. I, GEMINI, was there | | | | what she was doing she told us that while out |
| and saw the whole thing. Actually, it was | | | | scouring the cosmos she ran across Santa, who |
| AQUARIUS who leaked the details of the | | | | said he knew he was lost when he tried to land |
| upcoming meeting. You know, they never can | | | | his big sleigh on the docks at Boston harbor. |
| keep a secret. | | | | Everyone grimaced and looked over at PISCES, |
| Twas the night before Christmas and all through | | | | who smiled sweetly and was instantly forgiven for |
| the town, every creature was stirring and it was | | | | his lack of accurate directions. |
| all because of LEO. | | | | Smiling benevolently, Santa climbed out of his |
| You see, LEO had arranged for dear ol' Santa to | | | | sleigh and greeted each of us from the zodiac. He |
| meet the zodiac. Under the guise of wanting | | | | was mighty impressed with LIBRA'S perfectly |
| Santa to become better acquainted with the | | | | formed greeting lines. |
| personalities of each zodiac sign and making sure | | | | LEO, still on stage, broke out in a rousing rendition |
| everyone got the right gift, LEO set the scene | | | | of Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here. SAG excitedly |
| for his thinly-veiled disguise to be center stage. | | | | interrupted, requesting the song, Joy To The |
| Ever the inspiration for fun, LEO left the details to | | | | World. |
| everyone else. Unfortunately, with good planning, | | | | ARIES barged to the front of the line trying to |
| but bad directions, PISCES was left in charge of | | | | greet Santa first. I watched SCORPIO throw |
| giving Santa the landing coordinates. | | | | ARIES a withering glance that could freeze water. |
| It was 7:30PM last Monday night and Santa was | | | | ARIES reluctantly got back in line. As LEO belted |
| late. SAGITTARIUS, who forgot to fill the gas | | | | out Joy To The World, he was once again |
| tank of her monster SUV, had to hitch a ride with | | | | interrupted with a song request from AQUARIUS. |
| LEO in his Corvette and that was the only reason | | | | "LEO, sing We Are The World!" LEO happily |
| she wasn't late too. I watched Leo set up his | | | | obliged, glad to have all eyes on him. AQUARIUS |
| stage equipment while SAG went out for an | | | | hugged everyone in sight and Santa seemed to |
| exploratory hike. Suddenly, careening around the | | | | enjoy it all. |
| tree line came ARIES, riding his nitro-fueled, big | | | | Again I asked, "But where is CAPRICORN?" Santa |
| wheeled quad. Mad that he was not first on the | | | | smiled warmly and said, "Pleased to meet you |
| scene, ARIES spun angry donuts in the dirt, | | | | GEMINI. I'm CAPRICORN. " He nodded his head, |
| spewing dust and gravel up my nose. | | | | winked and began passing out gifts. |
| Next to arrive, Wrangler-wearing TAURUS | | | | The following is a list of special Santa gifts |
| approached the growing crowd, riding his favorite | | | | received that night: |
| Quarter horse stallion and leading his prize Angus | | | | ARIES received a camo Mad Bomber hat for |
| bull by the nose (which was really more of a pet | | | | quad riding. |
| than a money-maker). | | | | TAURUS, a lilting CD gift pack of Roy |
| Boy, was I wound tight. Shifting from foot to | | | | Rogers, Happy Trails to You. |
| foot, I anxiously questioned VIRGO as to the | | | | I, GEMINI, was thrilled to receive the latest |
| whereabouts of Santa and CAPRICORN. She said | | | | Blue tooth telephone. |
| I sounded like Hammy, the caffeinated squirrel in | | | | Santa gave CANCER a gift certificate for a |
| Over the Hedge. Peering over her eyeglasses, she | | | | kitchen make over and pantry full of food. |
| told me I was talking too fast to be understood. | | | | LEO was grandly presented a signed contract |
| Ignoring her, I turned my attention to the sound | | | | for a music tour around the world. |
| of rolling wheels behind me. | | | | VIRGO received her own Merry Maids |
| Pulling a red wagon filled with homemade cookies | | | | cleaning business franchise. |
| and hot chocolate, CANCER and her brood smiled | | | | LIBRA was gifted an exquisite art collection |
| and waved as they bounced along the rutted dirt | | | | by John Waterhouse. |
| road. They were pulling a little red wagon filled | | | | SCORPIO grinned like an elf when he opened |
| with homemade cookies and hot chocolate. We | | | | his antique Kama Sutra book wrapped in velvet. |
| always could count on her to supply treats for | | | | SAG jumped up and down in her climbing |
| the really important occasions. | | | | boots when Santa gave her a Brazilian cherry |
| Meanwhile, LEO, still busy setting up his | | | | wood hiking stick from the Amazon. |
| microphone, sang out in his best performance | | | | Good ol' AQUARIUS received the latest |
| voice, "Testing, one, two, three." Suddenly, a large | | | | Green Peace fuel cells for her space ship. |
| shadow covered the moonlit ground. Turning | | | | And last, but not least, PISCES was awarded |
| toward the east, we all witnessed two | | | | free psychic readings for a year and a Tom-Tom |
| approaching vehicles, a UFO-type craft, followed | | | | GPS locator. |
| by a brightly colored sleigh. Ever vigilant, VIRGO | | | | You see, Santa really does know everything. |
| was the first to shout, "Look, it's Santa! Quick, | | | | Anxious to get about his business, Capricorn, I |
| rake the dirt for a smooth landing!" | | | | mean Santa, nimbly hopped aboard his sleigh and |
| LIBRA graciously & quietly announced that it was | | | | with a nod of his head, waved, and disappeared |
| only good manners for everyone to form a | | | | into the starry night. Dazed and confused, I |
| parting-of-the-masses line to properly greet Santa. | | | | quickly called in my report to the editor on my |
| The two aircraft quietly landed in the meadow. | | | | new Blue tooth. |
| Out of the UFO jogged AQUARIUS, dressed in | | | | And this is the way it really happened. Although |
| outdated go-go boots with a multi-colored | | | | I'm not prepared to take a lie detector test, after |
| Guatemalan poncho thrown carelessly over her | | | | all, I am GEMINI, I can tell you, it really did, pretty |
| shoulder. She looked stunning! When I asked her | | | | much, sort of happened this way. |