Stretch Your Networking Boundaries & Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

When July rolls around New York, my husbandyou've developed a skill, like riding a bike, it's with
and I can't wait to escape the stifling heat andyou forever.
humidity that often blankets the city. Not justExpectations can get a little thorny to deal with
mitigate it by going to a nearby beach, but reallybecause your mind can play tricks and make you
leave it behind us. This year, we opted for 10believe that something is harder than it actually is.
days in the Swiss Alps.If you've never done it before or never seen
While I had visions of skipping through greenanyone do it, you'll probably think it's quite hard.
meadows picking wildflowers, in a moment ofThen, when you watch others, it starts to look
weakness one day I found myself in snow gear,easy and definitely doable.
agreeing to be strapped into a harness to rappelBut just before you go through the experience
down a crevasse in a glacier, and then climb backon your own, you can begin to second guess
up the ice wall with nothing but ice axes andyourself and feel anxious because your body is
crampons.about to do something it has no sensory memory
Taking that first step off the glacier -- backwards,of. I absolutely did not want to hang backwards
no less -- down a sheer wall of blue ice, uncertainoff the glacier that first time, but by the fourth
of what would meet me in the tight, cold spacetime, I was pushing off against the wall on my
below, was the height of anxiety. Our guide madedescent like an Army Ranger. ; )
it look so easy in his demo, but now it was myThe more you network, and especially the more
turn.you put yourself in different situations - from
With no technique, no idea what to expect, andone-on-one meetings to small networking groups
no trust in the ropes and harness that wereto mega conferences - the less you have to
supporting me, I froze (no pun intended!).worry about what's going on internally, and the
Sometimes when people approach newmore you can focus on having fun in the moment
networking situations, they encounter the sameand maximizing the experience.
thing. Without the right technique, a good handleTrust is the most important element to have, but
on their expectations, and an overall trust in theperhaps the hardest one to grasp both mentally
process, it can be too unsettling and they findand physically because you're putting faith in
themselves retreating back into their comfortsomething you don't completely control. How could
zone.I know that the rope system, carabiners, and ice
This could mean hanging out with people theyscrews my guide had set up could hold my
know at an event rather than risk possibleweight? I didn't. I had to trust that he's checked
rejection of meeting new people -- which I'veeverything to his satisfaction, that he's done this
NEVER seen happen in networking, by the way.many, many times over, and though he might
Or they could be too afraid to put a spotlight ontake risks with his own life, he would never put
themselves and hold back asking questions in ahis clients in jeopardy.
public forum when doing so could get themIf you want to speed up learning, you can't figure
noticed by potential prospects.everything out yourself. You have to learn from
When you push yourself with a new experience,others and put trust in their experience and
you break through old boundaries and allowexpertise. If they walk you through the steps of
yourself to move up towards that next level ofa process they've done a million times before,
success. You just need to get a good handle onthat's probably a pretty good starting point. Don't
those three critical elements: technique,get so caught up in arguing about what you think
expectations and trust.will or won't work that you never take a step.
Technique is the easiest to address, because itNothing happens without action. You can always
can be learned and definitely improves withadjust and add your own flourishes once you feel
practice. I still don't have the right technique foryour way through your own experience.
digging out my ice axe for each climb withoutSo my key takeaways from my first ice climbing
straining every muscle in my back and arms, butexperience is how succeeding at one challenge
I greatly improved between my first and secondmotivates you to keep trying new ones, and how
time, and even into my third time.important it is to engage experts to help speed
I found the same thing with most aspects ofup my learning curve and get me back to safety.
networking. I still consider myself somewhat of aIf you're facing a new challenge, whether it's
shy person, yet now I'm fairly comfortabletripling your business, transitioning your career, or
approaching just about anybody in any situation,diving into your first big networking event, be
introducing myself, and starting a conversation. Itwilling to stretch beyond your comfort zone, and
was just a matter of developing a specificinvest in the support you need to help you with
approach and standard phrases over time thattechnique, expectations and trust to ensure a
put others (and myself) at ease, and practicingsuccessful outcome (and to also have fun in the
them in real situations as much as possible. Onceprocess!).